Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
