Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
