I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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