Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
