So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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