just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
