I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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