sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
