I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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