In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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