it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
