Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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