Will you blow on my dice?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
