i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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