Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
