Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
