i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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