Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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