she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
