I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
