"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
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