i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I pour the whiskey from now on
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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