why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
