i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
