Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
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