someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
