I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
How external is "for external use only"?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize