I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize