At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
