she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
