Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize