just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
