Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
