So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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