i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
