I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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