her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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