Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize