This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
