If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
its liver damage thursday
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
