Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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