Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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