I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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