'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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