we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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