I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
