i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm always down for nudity.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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