So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
