omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize