Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
