You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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