i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
