im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I love having hate sex.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i've created a new STD.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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