Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
