Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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