Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
