..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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