Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
