the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think your dad took our porno
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
