Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize