So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
