I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
