Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize